2011  Sept. 18, Sunday

Going through stuff, I came across a journal entry I wrote September 1, 2008, the day after Kim left the farm, headed for a year's work in Haiti with Patrick.  It describes the enduring power of "home."  For Steve, Kim and Chris, it's here.  (Even for me, though I came to it at the age of 24.  I "grew up" here.)

Sept. 1, 2008 - the farm

   The meadow grasses go gold.  The meadow sky goes rose.  This quiet day draws down to the last ribbons of light and stirring of breezes.  Birds, insects, and rustling leaves are the audible breathing of the atmosphere.
   I've been hours on this deck, at first in the shelter of the roof overhang, while the sun spilled past into the flowers.  Then the red globe began to sink into flannel blue depths and drew me out of hiding, to the table, to the place we sat last night, daughter.  Your chair still faces me.  And I face you.  Blue and silence and stars surrounded us. 
   Green and mist and birdsong surround me now.  The animals are curious.  They take turns climbing quietly into my lap or nuzzling under my hand.  They seem to understand that I can't be in the house right now.  I want to watch the fading sky and the tall, still windmill become one fabric without edges.  'Abe' kitty has one paw on the page, but his eyes are closed and he purrs.
   I think to myself, Kim is not leaving home.  We cannot ever leave the place where our spirit was born, where we became whole, unique, where we knew our name and our gifts and our reasons for breathing.  This place you call home, Kim, is always the same and never the same.  These centurion trees have canopied this place for a hundred years - more.  But if storms toppled them tonight and shattered every visible sign of life above the surface, the ground that steadied them, that enfolded their roots in the darkness of beginnings, would remain magical.  As Whitman wrote: "...much unseen is also here."

   The strength and power of home goes with you, daughter, wherever you travel.  Your roots are here, embedded in this magic place.  You will "come home," spiritually, for the rest of your life.  And we, in some form or other, will always greet you with so much love."

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